Weekly Review Issue no.3
On being an end-of-life doula, the cost of denying death and 250 hours of jazz
Hello! Welcome to new subscribers, thank you for signing up. As ever, I hope you will find at least one thing here that will improve or change your day and week. I’m pulling together the various things I’m reading and thinking about, with a healthy dose of music and other miscellaneous things. Expect longer-form pieces in between these weekly reviews.
This week for me
It was my birthday this week! 🎉 So what better way to celebrate than watching 90 minutes of incredibly tense international football where Germany failed to proceed to another round of 16 at a World Cup. Happy birthday to me! 😖
I had my first consultation as an End-of-Life Doula, which is a big milestone for me. I’ve been cautiously waiting for the right time, and for a client I felt I could confidently support. But at one point you just have to jump in. Lots to learn and grow from, but along with other conversations I’ve had this week with a few people, it is clear to me the demand for people to engage with their (and others) mortality is there, and I suspect quite significant. It’s not just about medical decisions by a long shot. It’s bigger than that. It’s about making sense of things, opening up internal monologues into dialogues. We just need ways to do it in a safe, compassionate way - and crucially I don’t think it actually needs to be done in a clinical setting most of the time.
To the links! 🫶
Research on the edges
🔘 Carl Jung On Why We Need To Be Whole To Realize Our Destiny
Self and other, life and death, masculine and feminine, light and darkness… these are adversaries only superficially. At the deepest level, they form one wholeness: a self-regulated system in which opposing poles coexist in perfect harmony. As Jung put it: ‘No tree, it is said, can grow to heaven unless its roots reach down to hell.’ The only way for wholeness to grow is through the simultaneous growth of all its parts.
💸 The Morbid Cost of Denying Death
Shifting from a denial of death to an acceptance of our albeit-disconcerting mortality opens up possibilities to not just reduce anxiety but to redefine death as a tool to live life more vitally. The encouraging news is that our willingness to fully participate in our lives tends to quell our anxieties and fears about death.
Connectedness, on the other hand, might be in itself a therapeutic experience. While ego-dissolution does not continue past the psychedelic experience, participants of the included studies frequently mentioned experiencing connectedness – and the associated feelings of belonging, love, responsibility for others – for days or weeks following the psychedelic session.
It was the experience of connectedness that led some participants to improve their relationship with their loved ones and it was connectedness-induced compassion that helped a participant process his childhood trauma.
😌 What Is Self-Acceptance? 25 Exercises
Do you accept yourself? It might sound like an odd question; after all, what does it even mean to accept yourself? Don’t we all accept ourselves as a regular part of living our day-to-day lives?
As it turns out, self-acceptance is not an automatic or default state. Many of us have trouble accepting ourselves exactly as we are. It’s not so hard to accept the good parts of ourselves, but what about the rest? Surely we shouldn’t accept our flaws and failures?
In fact, that’s exactly what we should do! Read on to learn why we need to accept ourselves, the good and the bad, and to get some practical suggestions on how to do it.
New frontiers of technology
🗓 Sunsama
The one piece of software that has immeasurably improved my life this year is Sunsama. I include this now because I think I’ve passed beyond the typical period of time when a producivity tool becomes more hassle than its worth, and is dropped in favour for pen-and-paper/post-its. However, this has been different. Essentially it enables you to break down your work into actually achievable, deliverable chunks, and keeps your focus on the day rather than abstract goals/milestones. I love it. Just what I needed to keep my post-COVID/toddler brain in check. Quite expensive at $20 a month, but has repaid itself through increasing my effective working hours.
🎧 Listen
🥁 A seminal record of my youth was Chemical Brothers Dig Your Own Hole, which came out in 1997. They released a 25-year (gulp) anniversary record, which included this wee gem. Quite downbeat/ambient. I can’t embed it, so click through to give it a listen.
🎷 The Japanese writer Haruki Murakami has an extensive collection of records. Over 10,000 of them. They are enviably collected in his study along with his gargantuan hi-fi system. Just look at it. Thankfully for us, one enterprising person has - incredibly - scoured the internet and interviews with Murakami to bring as much of that collection together in one giant playlist. It’s big. It’s over 250 hours long of incredibly tasteful jazz, classical and other music. I’ve been going through it slowly in the evenings for the past 2 years. Choice!
🤔 Last thought
I have mentally sellotaped this on the inside of my head for the past 6 months. Still a struggle, but a useful reminder!
See you next time 👋🏻
“We are here to help each other get through this thing, whatever it is.”